Unexpected Thoughts
by Jade Cyclone
Summary: During their travels, Rin asks Sesshoumaru a question that stirrs something inside of him, leaving the demon lord to deal with the thoughts that occur to him...by going to see his brother. Oneshot


A/N: I think I've become a little obsessed with the idea of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha as real brothers. **:sweatdrops: **I'm not actually sure what is so endearing to me about the thought, but I do love to think about the possibilities.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Rated K+ for language.

…

Sesshoumaru stared at Rin as she slept. He had been watching her for the better part of an hour, the moon high overhead; her small body cradled in the soft fur of his tail, her hair flickering in the dying firelight. Reaching down gently, he brushed her bangs back from her forehead, and continued to gaze down at her pale, angelic face.

For months now the great demon Lord of the Western Lands had taken care of Rin. He listened silently as always when she talked happily about the things that she had discovered during the day, or the many thoughts running through her head. If she ever had a question, he was always there with the answer. He had grown so used to hearing her voice during their journeys in fact, that it was a surprise to him that, when Rin returned to his side after gathering supplies for herself, she didn't begin her usual monologue. Jaken was relieved, to be sure. But something stirred in Sesshoumaru's chest that made him acutely aware of the child's silence. Something was wrong.

She had returned with a bright smile, as was her custom, and offered him a look at the new yukata, that she had purchased with the coins that he had given her, for his approval. He had nodded as she turned around for his inspection, and she had giggled in a way that had nearly made him smile when she faced him again. Instead, he turned and set off, expectantly waiting for her to fall into step beside him and begin her usual monologue.

But she never did.

She was quietly walking beside Jaken, playing with the sleeves of her new outfit. And still he waited. The tall youkai wasn't absolutely sure why the silence among the three of them suddenly unnerved him. It had used to be easier for him that way; better even. He enjoyed the silence. But there was something different about it this time. Something that made him worry, although he'd never admit that to himself.

A few hours after dawn that morning, Sesshoumaru had given Rin a small purse of coins, tucking it gently into her obi. While he and Jaken had waited on the edge of the forest, she had run off happily into a small village they had come across to buy a new yukata at her Lord's request. He had watched her the previous night, shivering despite the warmth his tail provided and had suddenly realized how worn her tiny outfit was, as if it had been the only one that she had ever owned in her entire life. Curling his tail around her tighter, he had waited until they had found a suitable place for her to find a replacement yukata and had sent her off.

Glancing behind himself discretely, he caught Rin chewing on the sleeve of her new outfit, seemingly lost in thought. Jaken was practically doing a happy dance as he tugged on the reigns of his Lord's steed, gleefully soaking up the peace and quiet while it lasted. Turning back around before either had noticed him; he had the sudden urge to throw a rock at Jaken's head.

Finally unable to ignore it any longer, he slowed his pace by a fraction of a step and spoke as passively as ever.

"Don't expect me to replace that so soon Rin," he said without turning. Just as he had expected, she trotted up beside him, looking ashamed.

"Rin is sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama. It's just…Rin has been thinking."

Sesshoumaru didn't respond, confident that she would continue. She didn't disappoint him this time.

"Rin is confused about something," she started up again, somewhat timidly. "Maybe Sesshoumaru-sama can help?"

He glanced at her after a moment when she slipped her small hand into his.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…what's a bastard?"

The question made him stop dead in his tracks.

He hadn't expected such a question to affect him so deeply, but hearing Rin's confusion, seeing the hurt in her eyes…he barely noticed Jaken's annoyed cry as he ran face first into his Lord's leg. And Rin continued to stare up at him with wide, hopeful eyes, waiting for an answer. And yet he found no answer for her. His thoughts were frozen on her words…but it wasn't her that had brought his mind to a screeching halt. It wasn't her face that he saw looking up at him now. All he could see was a pair of innocent golden eyes, and silver hair so much like his own…

She must have thought that he was displeased with her question, because when he didn't answer, Rin scrambled to explain herself while Jaken picked himself up off the ground, muttering angrily.

"Rin is sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin was only curious, after hearing some people in the village say it to a boy…Rin only wanted to know what it meant…" she trailed off, squeezing his hand, hoping for some sort of response this time.

Sesshoumaru looked down at her for a long time before turning to Jaken.

"We're resting here."

Jaken looked thunderstruck. "B-but Sesshoumaru-sama!" he sputtered. "We've only just begun! It isn't nearly sunset but you—!"

Jaken shut his mouth at a glare from his Lord. Grumbling as angrily to himself, the small toad demon shuffled off with Ah Un in tow, waving his staff dramatically as if the steed actually cared about what he had to say. When he was well into the clearing Sesshoumaru looked down at Rin again, who was shuffling her bare feet in the dirt, clearly agitated.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she started quietly again. "Rin is sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," he answered her. "You were right to ask a question about something you did not understand."

"Then, Sesshoumaru-sama isn't mad at Rin?"

"No." He replied flatly, still debating on how to answer her question.

She smiled gratefully and turned her head to watch Jaken collecting firewood, still grumbling and waving sticks around in annoyance, and waited for him to continue. She never ceased to amaze him with how much she seemed to understand about him. But she was still a child, and at her age, even for a youkai child, the answer to the question she had asked would be a difficult one to understand.

"Don't concern yourself with what you hear in passing." He told her finally. "It isn't important."

Squeezing his hand briefly before running off to pester Jaken, Rin smiled.

"Thank you Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He watched her go, his face betraying no emotions, satisfied with her confidence in his answer. And for the rest of the day he had watched her…watched her run and play, happily prattling on and on about one thing after another just the same as always. Laughing as she tried to catch a fish for her dinner, knocking Jaken into the stream. He watched her, and realized that day just how innocent his Rin really was. Despite everything that she had suffered and witnessed she was still just a little girl.

Sesshoumaru blinked out of his thoughts when Rin stirred against his side, closing one of her tiny hands around the fur of his tail before settling into a contented sleep once more. Absent-mindedly placing his arm around her body, he looked away from her and up at the moon before closing his eyes.

The next day, Sesshoumaru had woken Jaken and Rin early, and gave them strict instructions to ready themselves after a short time and continue on without him. He would catch up soon enough. Confused, but not about to question their Lord, both had nodded, Rin still somewhat sleepily. Without sparing another moment, Sesshoumaru turned and faded into the darkness of the trees and disappeared.

…

The demon lord watched Inuyasha from a distance as he lounged in a tree with the Tesseiga resting lightly on his shoulder. He hadn't intended on getting so close to the half-demon, but now that he had he was simply waiting for the pup to notice him. He was mildly pleased that he didn't have to wait long. Picking up his brother's scent, Inuyasha was on his feet in an instant, leaping out of the tree while ripping Tesseiga from its sheath in a blinding flash of light, landing with his sword aimed at Sesshoumaru's hiding spot.

Sesshoumaru merely stepped out from the trees, his handsome face calm. Inuyasha snarled.

"Come for the Tesseiga again?" he mocked, the quirk of an arrogant smile on his lips. "'Didn't know you were so eager to lose another arm."

While Inuyasha readied his blade, Sesshoumaru made no indication of the desire to attack. His thoughts had drifted back to Rin. And suddenly, something became very clear to the mighty Inu-youkai. Looking away from his half-brother with a gesture of dismissal, Sesshoumaru turned to leave.

"Oi!" he heard Inuyasha bearing down on him, not in the least bit concerned. "I'm not letting you walk away so easily!"

Side stepping the attack at the last minute, Sesshoumaru watched as Inuyasha's sword ripped through the ground beside him throwing up a massive cloud of dirt.

"Pathetic."

Inuyasha glared and leveled his sword with his brother's chest once again. "If you aren't here to fight what the hell _are_ you doing?" the half demon huffed angrily, the grip on his sword still tense. Sesshoumaru contemplated the question for a long moment.

"Well!"

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrows at the younger demon. Inuyasha continued to glare.

"Inuyaaaaaaaasha!" called a small voice from the direction of Inuyasha's tree. The half demon's eyes flickered from Sesshoumaru towards the voice. It was Shippou.

"Why do you hesitate, Inuyasha?" the demon lord taunted. "You are the son of one of the greatest youkai to have ever lived. Start acting like it."

Inuyasha could hardly keep his jaw from dropping. Sesshoumaru had admitted that he was a legitimate son of Inutasho…The half demon watched his brother closely, taken aback by the seriousness by which he had addressed him. Was Sesshoumaru saying what he thought he was saying? That he wasn't a—

"INUYAAAAAAASHA!"

Cursing, the half demon glanced over his shoulder again and then back at his brother, at a loss. Sesshoumaru smirked, all honesty and seriousness gone in a heartbeat.

"Now, run along like the human pet you are."

With a growl, Inuyasha lunged at the demon lord, all hope of respect from the older youkai vanishing at his degrading words, but his brother was gone before he had even raised his sword.

…

As he jogged lightly through the trees, following Rin and Jaken's scent ahead of him, Sesshoumaru's thoughts drifted back to his half brother. He found himself wondering whether Inuyasha may have turned out something like Rin had the world not stripped him of his dignity at such a young age. For the first time, the demon lord entertained the thought of what might have happened if he had been there for Izayoi and Inuyasha in his father's absence. He wondered if he would have made a good older brother.

But those thoughts were fleeting. He had done what he had come to do and now he needed to get back.

Rin was waiting for him.

…

A/N: In case that last sequence was a bit confusing, Sesshoumaru was basically telling Inuyasha in his own weird way that he isn't a bastard. Halfway through writing this, I came up with the idea that maybe part of the reason that Sesshoumaru keeps Rin around is because the innocence in her reminds him of the Inuyasha's stolen innocence, and he wants to preserve it to make up for not being there for his little brother from the start. Since this isn't exactly AU, I know that's kind of a weird train of thought to run with, but I thought it had a sort of melancholy appeal to it, and it just stuck. I'll probably explain these thoughts in a little more detail in my newest fic: _In The Beginning_. In anycase, thanks for reading!


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